Post Surgery, Life, & Drama

It has been a few weeks after my surgery on my shoulder, and all I can say it’s "This sucks big time". My arm is not healed yet... Sadly then the doctor wants me to do physical therapy when it’s a ligament and I know it’s not healed yet. (You my dear reader know how you feel when your body isn't feeling right or when you had surgery and you feel that you are not ready yet.) I have been feeling this way for a while.



I'm very indecisive about this and I am open to suggestions The problem here is that I know I am failing my classes since I am not very able to attend to class all the time, and I know thanks to my surgery my grades have drop also I can't really write because I have a tear on my right wrist, thanks to that I can't move my wrist to write, and the motion of writing makes my whole arm hurt (I have tried to write). Other than that I have been having some drama with the Mother and nothing out of the ordinary.



I have been trying to get my drivers license and looking for a good job there’s gotta be something better than wal-mart. I know finding a job with this economy is hard but I am praying I get a job at a spa. This way with that kind of job I would be able to pay off my debt and credit cards.

SO I have decided to be a lolita

So yes I have decided to be a lolita now... How will I get my clothes god knows how Y^Y I guess I'll ask for money for my birthday and what not... Anyways I have also started sweing which I love to do I might take some fasion classes while I'm in college and have a minor in fashion or something Idk yet. Anyways I have to get my surgery done soon Y^Y Im so nervous this is all so crazy.

Trip to Largo 2

The first one was on my phone and i was geting cranky~

So today I went to Largo... It wasn’t that great of a trip. My father drove me to Largo so I could get an MRI done on my arm, and we almost ended up in Miami. He had me call the office several times and they all give me the wrong directions then we decided to stop at the gas stations since everyone was giving me the wrong directions. We got to the office thanks to the people that worked at the two different gas stations. Then on our way back my dad kept being an ass. Such a great trip….

Trip to Largo

Omg please kill me! On this stupid trip to get my mri all i can say its that this it has been worst in my life....

Taking advantage of this fragile broken heart

-Softly sigh- Wondering why.... How can a man love me? I can’t seem to understand this… All I see is ugliness and all they see is something else. I have wonder why does he want to own me when he has two other that are not like me that are beautiful girls… -sigh- I am not the prettiest girl.

Why be near me? Why offer me to be yours and to obey you? Why would you want to take advantage of this heart? This poor heart that can’t find itself that has forgotten who it was and how to work. This is why I have been so depress, the why I’ve wanted to escape everything and hide.

Hide away from everyone and everything to crawl into a tiny little hole and live there forever and ever never wanting to come out never wanting to see you or anyone else. Sometimes I have wanted to be left alone, but you never leave me alone you are always there.

–Teary eyed- And for what? So you can tell me that we will never meet then after you break me then ask me if I want to really kneel for you in person? Seriously, Am I the only one out there for me instead of being you, yet you say you are looking out for me and that I make you feel all of these things, when you and I both know they are the lies that you feed my poor broken heart.